Reflections of 2007 - 1st Year in FT Ministry

2007 is the first year I am in full time ministry and has also been a year on learning what it means to love the way God loves and it has been at times extremely delightful and others, painful.. Several incidents that have happened this year have opened my heart to just begin to understand what it means to give of love freely and unconditionally and is something that I know I will continue to do for my lifetime.

 

These are some of the lessons that I’ve learnt:

 

I learned that sometimes when you love others and genuinely want what is best for them, it does not necessarily mean they would respond they way you want them to. But you love anyway.

 

I learned that sometimes when you think you’re doing what’s right, you make mistakes. But you learn from it. and love anyway.

 

I learned it is better to have made a mistake through a choice made in faith, than not to do anything at all.

 

I learned that for some reason, I feel love most strongly for people in those moments that they are hurting or lost because of some wrong choices they have made. And I suspect that’s how God feels about us in those times when we are hurting from our sins but want to run away most from Him because we think we have displeased Him so much and are no longer “fit” to be His child. When we’re hurting the deepest because of our sins, that’s when God’s love and grace is the most abundant.

 

I learned that it is the unloveable that needs to be loved most and if you ask God to teach you to love like Him, He will send them along. But when you love them by His grace, He will make them loveable.

 

I learned that my value as a person is not dependent on the spiritual growth and walk of the students I disciple and watch over.

 

I learned that I cannot make someone love God. I can only love them with the love of God, and pray that they will see Him and grow to love Him and desire Him above all else in time.

 

I learned that as much as I wish that the students would not make the same mistakes as I did, and would learn from my mistakes, instead of making similar ones themselves, they would one day have to make some of their own and grow from it.

 

I learned a very important principle in real life and spiritual parenting or rather, in all relationships: “I will love you even if you don’t take my advice, but because I love you, I must give you my advice.”

 

I learned that it is also important to let the person whom you love, know that you will love him/her even if they don’t take your advice. And make sure it’s for real.

 

I learned to dare to embrace pain that comes with caring about others again.

 

I learned that the Holy Spirit is the best Mentor and Teacher anyone can have. He knows EVERYTHING. heh.

 

I learned that when you honor God with your Sabbath day of rest, He gives you all the resources you need for the remaining 6 days. Hence, I dedicate the As this school semester for my part time studies to Him because getting into the LKY School of Public Policy and the grades gotten is pure result of his provision of grace and goodness.

 

And last but not least, I quote from Ps Carlton’s New Year’s eve just before midnight of 1 Jan 08….. “ Love the sheep even when they bite”! Haha!

 

My life is not as dramatic as Joseph's, but this song "Better Than I" (see below) does reflect the many times of cluelessness i've had in the year of 2007 and i'm sure other years down the road. I have been following different "birds" in my life.. and i thank God that He has placed many role models before me to follow Him as they follow Christ. But this year, i feel God has reminded me and is reminding me, that it was also He that taught these "birds" to fly and so if i follow Him, He will take me on my own separate path. God knows though how i hate it.. it's so much easier to follow a godly person than to follow God himself. He's a whole lot more unpredictable. And i must admit i continue to struggle in that. Yet, by the grace of God, i pray that i will continue to be able to see that the best thing i can is to trust in Him, at ALL times.

Better Than I [from Joseph: King of Dreams]

I thought I did what’s right
I thought I had the answers
I thought I chose the surest road but that road brought me here
So I put up a fight and told You how to help me
Now just when I have given up the truth is coming clear
You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
for You know better than I

If this has been a test I cannot see the reason
but maybe knowing I don’t know is part of getting through
I try to do what’s best and faith has made it easy
to see the best thing I can do is put my trust in You
for You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why
for You know better than I

I saw one cloud and thought it was the sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
but it was You who taught that bird to fly
If I let you reach me will You teach me
for You know better than I
You know the way
I’ve let go the need to know why

I’ll take what answers You supply
You know better than I