False Scare

Gosh! After yesterday, came another giant surprise again!

Someone came up to me and said that one of our church friends saw my sis holding hands with a boy at a major shopping mall today. In that moment.. it was like my heart seized.. like a scrunged up feeling, compressed and though my immediate reaction was not violent, but in my head, i was screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" (think echoing sound)

My angel sis, my innocent, pure and precious!! She's only Sec ONE for goodness sake!! Whose grubby hands was she holding??? But yes, of course, i calmed myself down and logical side took over me, to ask. So i smsed her " you have a boyfriend?"

Meanwhile, o man, my head.. swimming with all these parade of thoughts, marching by, all matched with the same "scrunched up" heart feeling (it's the best way i know how to describe what i was feeling). Though i know that the ultimate responsibility with parenting her lies with my dad and stepmum, yet i couldn't help but wonder if i had been a good sister, or neglected her.. or had i been a bad role model to her.. or if was too strict, or if there was something i had done or not done.. or why she hadn't told me about this guy she liked (coz she would tell me guys who liked her but she didn't like anyone before). i was trying to think if there were "warning signs", and though i couldn't really put a finger to any, i figured mabbe because i haven't been paying enough attention to her.

Then i thought about what i would say to her, what was the "right", biblical response to this situation.. and just tryin to calm myself down.. and though on the outward i was still.. but inside of me was like a "STOMP" musical all around! I wanted to go "ARRGGGGGGGGGGGHH" for the longest time. which i did online with some of my dear friends. And this "ARRGGHHHH" could not be stilled and it was so hard for me not to sigh, deeply, resoundingly, something just came from the depths of the inside out, but tried to stop myself. But honest to goodness, i was really quite affected. It wasn't sadness as much as it was disbelief and the "nooooooooo!" kinda feeling. Can someone please help me name that feeling??

Anyway, i decided that it was best for my brother to go talk to her instead, i was not yet emotionally stable to deal with it and i also figured: if she wants to talk to me about it after my sms, she will. I didn't want to force her into talk to me. Let Gary do the brotherly thing. So there, left it as that. After awhile of being still, GOD just reminded me again of something He told me a few years back when i was unnecessarily worrying about her future in Singapore because of her poor English then. "She is MY daughter, I will take care of her." She is HIS.

A few hours later, my phone rang! it was her of course. So the first thing she says is, "Jie Jiieeeeeee!", (the rest in mandarin also) "No, I don't! how is it possible that i would have a boyfriend?? i won't! REally really!" She goes on to explain that she was out with her best friend, her brother and another girlfriend and they were going to Sentosa (that part i know) and turned out that they went to have chicken rice dinner. So these bunch of students set a dare, to dare her friend to finish a dish of chilli and if she did, my sister would have to hold hands with the brother and walk one round the concourse area in the mall. So of course, the silly girl lost the dare and as they were walking halfway through, lo and behold! Our church friend sees her, holding the guy's hands, so he waves at her, she sheepishly waved back.

I was smiling and nodding my head as she was explaining (with a sense of exasperation and panic) to me over the phone and you could just hear peals of laughter from her friends behind, and her getting irritated at them etc.. This silly girl!! I just calmly asked her why they made that kind of bet and then just told her ok and i'll see her back home.

What did i feel? RELIEF. RELIEF, RELIEF, RELIEF. and JOY. I have come to realise that RELIEF and JOY makes a BEAUTIFUL combination of emotions. What a silly girl she was to have even agreed to go on this dare?!?! and of course while i do not agree with that dare, i was just SO RELIEVED that she didn't have a boyfriend that we didn't know of. Yes, she's not my daughter, but she's my sister. And gosh, who doesn't want the best for them?

BUT, u know the greatest testimony is THIS: That it was in this situation, that i saw how GOD was truly watching over her!! hahaha. I mean, even in a small "joke" situation like this, GOD sent someone.. our God has a sense of humour! But yes, once again, i am reminded, that GOD is watching over her and taking care and protecting her.. She is His!

When we came home, she rushed back into our room and starting pouring out her story and of how embarassed she feels about the whole situation now but even SHE agreed that, it was really evident that GOD is watching over her!

Anyhow, i just had to talk to her about her needing to realise how precious her hands are??? and that they are not to be held by anyone just flippantly! Those hands are meant to be fought for to be held!!!! But yes, i wasn't too fierce about it, remembering for myself that i've also done some really stupid things before in my youth. Besides, i think she was pretty traumatized about the whole situation and how it unfolded. Definitely a lesson that she'd not forget very soon.

So yes, this day, Lesson learnt, both She and I .