Faith and SuperMario Brothers

Talking about the leaps into the dark, i think time has allowed me to see that the faith 'walk'.. is not really a 'walk'.. but requires leaps! And not a one time leap, but leaps taken time and again, like the super mario brothers game (yes, that shows my age).. where u have to keep jumping from one tier to another to get to the end point. Not only so, while leaping, you still have to fight those little monsters that also pop up out of the blue. with each monster slayed you get like extra points/ blessings or even new life juice.

In that regard, I relate that with our journey with God. With each faith leap, there are new 'monsters' and challenges to fight and cross. But with each battle won, comes rewards and you move on to the next level in walking with God.

However, i often watched with amusement, at moments when the character would just walk back and forth to the left and right or jump up and down aimlessly. There is a point of decision to make, whether to forge ahead, or hit pause until the next round. And how apt this describes where I feel I am right now. I have gone far enought to know that if i choose to forge away, i will have to fight, and with each battle there will be rewards. However, i am stuck now, i need to decide if i want to keep fighting. Not that I will stop walking with God, but wondering if there could be an alternative route and weighing my options. Can i take a less adventurous road? Will I regret the trade off? I have no doubt that God will be with me wherever i choose to go as long as I walk in the boundaries of His Word, but I want to walk a route that i am willing, not because i have to, but because i want to. No longer bonded by obligations, but led by a passionate love for the one i follow.

I want my question not be of what is required of me, but what is desired of me. Why this reluctance i wonder? I dont think i even know what He is asking of me now. Or perhaps i am too afraid to hear, because i am afraid that i'd have to obey what i hear? and that it;d not be something i want to willingly obey.. and that i'm tired , of always obeying and doing something I do not want. Maybe my last 2 years have done more damage to my spirit than good? not entirely, but in some regards. I don't know Lord. Reveal Yourself to me once again.

and the below devotional from My Utmost For His Highest speaks to me:

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  ""Yes— But . . .!"

Lord, I will follow You, but . . . —Luke 9:61

Suppose God tells you to do something that is an enormous test of your common sense, totally going against it. What will you do? Will you hold back? If you get into the habit of doing something physically, you will do it every time you are tested until you break the habit through sheer determination. And the same is true spiritually. Again and again you will come right up to what Jesus wants, but every time you will turn back at the true point of testing, until you are determined to abandon yourself to God in total surrender. Yet we tend to say, "Yes, but— suppose I do obey God in this matter, what about . . . ?" Or we say, "Yes, I will obey God if what He asks of me doesn’t go against my common sense, but don’t ask me to take a step in the dark."

Jesus Christ demands the same unrestrained, adventurous spirit in those who have placed their trust in Him that the natural man exhibits. If a person is ever going to do anything worthwhile, there will be times when he must risk everything by his leap in the dark. In the spiritual realm, Jesus Christ demands that you risk everything you hold on to or believe through common sense, and leap by faith into what He says. Once you obey, you will immediately find that what He says is as solidly consistent as common sense.

By the test of common sense, Jesus Christ’s statements may seem mad, but when you test them by the trial of faith, your findings will fill your spirit with the awesome fact that they are the very words of God. Trust completely in God, and when He brings you to a new opportunity of adventure, offering it to you, see that you take it. We act like pagans in a crisis— only one out of an entire crowd is daring enough to invest his faith in the character of God.