Relationship Lessons from Dad about the Father

In the last 2 week’s, God has opened my eyes to see and realize who He is and what He’s like, not strictly through my quiet time of reading the Bible and prayer, but in the time spent interacting with my dad and people around. It seemed that living life itself the last 2 weeks, has become a journey of discovering the love and nature of God and for that, I’m thankful again. Lesson #1 It would break his heart to see me die, Lesson #2 Troubling him is no trouble at all.

 

So many stories, I don’t even know how to begin! Let’s start with Gary’s ‘disappearance’

 

Thanks to the temporary ‘disappearance’ of Gary in my life’s activities the last 2 weeks, I’ve had the opportunity to spend more time with my dad just chatting with him but also discovering once again how much he loves me. There have a been a few incidences that have really touched me, and made me realise how much he still cares for me though I’m a full grown adult now .. a parent’s love, that sometimes, continues to elude my comprehension even today.

 

The following incidents lead up to my 2 lessons below:

 

1)      Falling sick: My dad still remembers that i had bronchitis when i was 3 years old and that's why he takes every cough i make very seriously. No matter how many times I remind my dad that happened when I was 3 and hence makes it medically inadmissible and irrelevant, he continues to harp on it every time I fall sick and have cough, no matter how slight it is and he will inform the doctor when he gets a chance. I have since given up trying to repeat myself to him. I just save it for the doctors when he happens to inform them

 

2)      Grandpa’s Bday: Incidentally, this week was also my grandpa’s 86^th birthday celebration.  Each time I meet my cousins, they seem to age by 3 more extra years. I keep thinking they are 12 when they are 15, in JC when they are in 3^rd year university. Yet, what is striking to me, is that I can remember the EXACT faces of these cousins (all 20 something of them) as toddlers and as young children. I don’t know why my time zone never moved on from the time I saw them at those ages. And as my mind stays framed on those tender years, so too in their unbelievable goodness and cuteness. I think that’s what makes me still talk to them like young ones, though I try to treat them like adults.

 

Then it struck me, that perhaps, this is possibly how my dad sees his children. This is how my dad sees me. That no matter how old I grow, there’s this mental picture of young Ivy in his mind, and how she’s like. Maybe he sees the cute 4 year old Ivy, the one that had bronchitis just recently.. skipped the nasty, rude, self-absorbed teenage years and it’s this 4 year old now doing adult things. Maybe.

 

These 2 incidents indirectly leads me to my first lesson (don’t get lost, read on):

  

Lesson #1 It would break his heart to see me die

 

For the longest time, I’ve had not qualms in dying at an early age. I just want to do God’s plans and purposes for my life and be home with Him. No concerns, no worries. I’m not one that desires long life.. I’m honestly really happy to go at any time. However, this last 2 weeks in spending time with my father and seeing his concern for my health and well-being (see above stories), it seems that after 28 years, I have finally caught a glimpse of the intensity of his love for me as his daughter. A glimpse not in visual terms, but an understanding of how much he loves me.. so much so that I know that it would absolutely break his heart, if he would witness my death. I cannot bear that to happen to him and as painful as it is for me to venture thinking of the loss of another parent and having to go through the pain again, I know now that if I had a choice (of course God ultimately decides), I would rather my dad die before me, than have him witness my death because I know, it would absolutely shatter his heart. I don’t say this because I’m a loveable daughter. I say this because I’m a daughter who’s loved, and not for any virtue of my own.

 

Which brings me also to the point: God loves us so much. How much? Enough to know the number of strands of hair you have on your head (reminds me of this movie where the guy could list the different kinds of smiles the girl has coz he knew her so well… awwww), Enough to be humiliated, rejected, betrayed and die on the Cross for you, on your behalf.

 

Why did He do it? So He wouldn’t have to witness your spiritual death. So He doesn’t have to be separated from you because of your sins. He loves you so much. He loves us so much. It would break His heart to see you die. The reason why God hates sin so much is not only because He is holy, but because it is the very thing that separates Him from the people He loves, you and I and the world out there.

 

 

Lesson #2 Troubling someone is no Trouble at all when you enjoy that relationship

 

Just the last Sunday, I had planned on going for the first service as I wanted to take the rest of the day to study and rest. My dad and sis on the other hand were going to the second service. Since I didn’t want to trouble him to send me to church and come back for my sis, I planned to go to church by myself. Again, he insisted.. insisted in that he got changed and ready to drive. As I got into the car, I felt abit bad, coz I felt like I was “bullying” my dad but as the journey got on, we started chatting about things etc. I don’t remember what we chatted about, but I knew I enjoyed it our time together. Then I realized that my concern of “troubling” my dad was unfounded. Which leads me to conclude:

 

If I don’t view my dad driving me as a service but rather as a chance to spend time with him, it’s actually no trouble at all. I’m won't be embarrassed to want to spend time with him and ask, knowing that he can say no. That’s the difference when you have a relationship with that person, that when you know that you enjoy the company, whatever service it may be, it is no trouble at all. Sometimes I get so hung up on not “troubling” people too much on things that really matter, I forget that in doing so, I’ve reduced the relationship to a business exchange, I forget that it can actually be a pleasurable experience to be helped and to help when there is a relationship. In the same way, I believe that's how God desires our company. That as we ask of Him for things, that we would be with Him and work with Him along the way in getting those things. He is not the means in getting our blessings, but that He IS the blessing. His presence and His involvement in your daily life is not that of a master and slave, but that of Father and child. A relationship where there is reverance and respect, but also love and acceptance.

 

I'm not too sure if my incidents makes sense in links to the lessons to the readers. But one thing is for sure, that i know that as we live out our daily relationships in accordance to God's Word and Spirit, we will continue to be amazed at how much of Himself He reveals to us in others as we relate to them. I'm starting to understand why CHristianity is not to be lived alone, because it is in the context of relating to others that Christ is fully manifest.

"This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus."Ephesians 3:6