Just Best Friends or Defraud?

Linking all to this site: http://gayette.multiply.com/journal/item/47

I have met my fair share of real men that choose the path of faith instead of cowardice with regards to relationships, and for that i am thankful! kudos to the men that have taken the path of manhood and courage, who chose the risk of pain of rejection for himself instead of the risk of inflicting pain on the girl.

Perhaps i've never been one to assume when it comes to such matters of the heart, but i have always believed that outright confrontation is good. Confrontation when you feel that the guy has overstepped his boundary as a friend both in words and in deeds (uncommon or excessive smses that update u abt his life, chats etc). Except that i had to learn to be less aggressive with such confrontations, and be more firm by pointing out facts vs finger pointing at the person.

It was hard for me, though, to tone down my "aggressiveness", considering what is at stake - your heart from which springs of life flow! and though i do not recommend that other girls "exude" the same "fierceness" (be firm, but gentle in spirit) which i do at times whenever i sense "defraud-ulent" characters, but i do wish that the ladies could see the pricelessness and value of what is at stake - their hearts. You're worth it. You're worth standing up for. You're worth the guy doing his best to articulate clearly his intentions no matter how poetic-metaphorical he is.

I like what the guys in our SWM class said .."Don't Assume! if the guy hasn't said anything, don't assume."  That's how we girls should guard our hearts. However, if a guy's actions continue to bother you and you have NO idea where he's going with it, then ladies, its time to confront. Get serious with the guy and tell him that you're not comfortable with those sweet,over the edge concerned smses and chats and those lengthy amounts of time spent alone with him since you are not courting. But o, perhaps he whispered very softly his intentions at some point or he's the artistic type that likes to use metaphors ("u are like the bird in the sky that brightens up my day each time" ew.)? Well, get him to speak it loudly and clearly in PLAIN non-metaphorical english (or whatver language u speak best) If he can use metaphors, he can surely speak plain english. Otherwise, you might want to consider the what life could be like marrying someone who can't use layman terms to describe simple things on a day to day basis.

At the same time, girls also have a part to play in not encouraging the guys in what they are doing. I know we love the attention. We were born for it and we might even do things for the guy to continue the attention or the hope of something developing. But if you know not his intentions, stop replying every one of those smses with lengthy candour (added happy emoticons sometimes) or continuing those marathon online chats with him. if need be, turn down an event or two that he invites you to or ask along someone else, or ask someone else to take the same travelling route as you are taking with him. Let there be no room for doubt that you have no intentions of pursuing this relationship with him if he does not lay his intentions clear.

Ladies, we all want to be fought for. So why put yourself in a position that allows the men win your heart at less than the full effort that you're worth?

As we make our stand firm, we allow the men to be men. To rise to their call as warriors, who will fight for what is to belong to them, whatever the cost. In the process of allowing them to court the way God intends for them to, they are molded further into the image of Christ as men.