Have been to 3 funerals of loved ones.. i've also been thinking what i hope my funeral will be like:
1) A closed casket funeral. Because the body lying in the coffin is not me. If all people have are memories of those gone, than i would want the last memory remaining be that of the times i was alive and well, and those fond memories shared in the past.
2) Pictures family and friends and I. Since it is closed casket, i'd rather circulate pictures of me and my family and friends. Powerpoint presentation loop also can.. who says you can only do that at weddings rite?
3) Flash animation of "Duty" by Donghaeng
4) I want people to know that it is a joyous occasion for me (if that would bring them any comfort), as much as i love them and don't want to leave them. And if there are any outstanding offenses that they feel they might have not asked for forgiveness, let them know i forgive them. and if there are offenses i might have given, i ask for their forgiveness.
5) The preaching of the gospel. And also to let people know that's my request (coz sometimes apparently some people get upset when the officiating pastors preach the gospel at the funeral).. so i can see as many of them as possible in heaven
6) No need to be sombre all the time.It's really ok to laugh, share funny annecdotes.. Maybe if there are kids there, have a room where they can watch veggietales so they dont' get bored. At that age, they don't have to know why death can be painful for the living.
7) Bilingual : If my surviving family members then for some reason are more familiar with chinese, i really hope the songs and sharing will be bilingual.
That's all for now. I may just be the first girl that thought of planning her funeral before her wedding..hahah.
By the way, i am NOT dying anytime soon ok.. just jotting this down for future reference. I am not tryin to be morbid, to me this is just another certainty of life that is to be embraced, afterall, what's there to be fearful of for those who are in the Lord? :)
"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
~ 1 Cor 15:55
Ivy, this post touches me greatly. You're the second person in my life to think so much about your own funeral (my mom's the first though she hasn't actually passed me any written instructions).
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I think we should all face death with hope for death is only the beginning!
You know my family has already purchased places in a columborium in the church I got married in? My younger cousin was quite shocked when I brought her there and told her about it. But I hope that I will not fear death when it comes but be ready to go in peace and joy!
o yes, u reminded me! i also want to let my family know, no need to visit my urn after cremation.. coz I am so NOT there! m ok also even if they don't keep my ashes (scatter into the ocean, contribute to some plankton life) but whatever they decide it's fine. but i'd strongly discourage visiting my urn.. coz its just ashes, NOTHING like me at all.
ReplyDeleteYou're right of course, we're not going to be there! But then again, since I've grown up having a big international family gathering every year during my grandfather's death anniversary (whom I've never met), visiting his grave has always been a special thing cos that's where we'd hold a prayer service, sing songs as a family and where the entire family prays together.
ReplyDeleteThat's why for me, I think there's still something of value to us folks of flesh and blood to have a specific physical place to visit a beloved departed even though as believers we know he/she isn't there. And also why my mom and I decided to purchase the 'urn-condo' in the end, cos she was deliberating whether or not to for the same reason as you stated.
Not to mention, a cemetery type visits is a great place to initiate philosophical and spiritual discussions of life and death for the young... certainly it was for my family! I still remember how with each batch of young grandchildren added to the gathering, there'd be explanations of grandpa not being 'there' (in the ground) but in heaven.
i c ya.. those family gatherings are precious. Lately, the only time the extended family gathers together are either for CNY or funerals. I think i'd like to start a family tradition when i have kids to tell them of stories of their grandparents on their death anniversary.. it's taken us 28 yrs or more to find out even bits and pieces of my grandparents info so hopefully my kids don't have to wait that long! I have great and wonderful stories to tell of my parents and blogs to tell of my own youth.haha.
ReplyDeleteI just dun like pp guilt tripping the family for not visiting the urn as if you are being unfilial when i personally don't see the point since filial piety is more about how you treat them when you are alive than when they are dead lah.
Ooo!! and i got a new idea the last couple days! that i should do videos for the funeral. one every 10 yrs that i'm alive.. so now one while im in my 20s..and i could do a series.. liek part 1 for the first nite of the wake, then 2 and 3 for subsequent nite. I could preach at my own funeral!!
ReplyDeletethere are updates to this on my FB Note last modified on 8 Jan 2011
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